Choosing an SEO Agency: 8 Red Flags and the Questions That Expose Them
Most SEO horror stories were predictable from the first phone call. The eight red flags, the questions that expose them, and what good answers sound like.
Most SEO horror stories were predictable from the first sales call: the guarantees, the $99 price, the 24-month contract, the secrecy about what is actually done. Here are the eight red flags, each with the question that exposes it, so you can disqualify the burn merchants in one conversation. We pass all eight, which is why we are comfortable arming you with the list.
The eight red flags
1. Guaranteed rankings
Google itself states nobody can guarantee a #1 position. Guarantees mean either lying, or targeting keywords nobody searches (“#1 for smiths-plumbing-cairns-qld!”). Expose it: “Guaranteed on which exact term? Show me a client where you did it.” (Then verify yourself, ours are searchable: “earthworks cairns”.)
2. The $99-a-month package
Skilled human hours cannot exist at $99. What ships instead: automated reports and directory spam. The honest maths is in what SEO costs.
3. Lock-in contracts
12-24 month cages exist because the work would not survive a monthly decision. Expose it: “What is your notice period?” (Ours: monthly, always.)
4. They will not say what they actually do
“Proprietary methods” is a tarp over an empty ute. Real SEO is describable: content, structure, profile, links, speed (the whole playbook is public). Expose it: “Walk me through last month’s work for a current client.”
5. No named, checkable clients
“We helped a plumbing client grow 300%” needs a name and a searchable term, otherwise it is fiction. Every claim we make carries a client name and a live search.
6. They cold-called you about “problems” on your site
The “your website has critical SEO errors!” email is a template sent to everyone. Agencies with results do not need to frighten strangers.
7. One-size packages regardless of your business
Bronze/Silver/Gold with identical deliverables for a dentist and a demolition crew means nobody looked at your market. Real plans start from your keyword map.
8. They own what they build
Content, pages and profiles built under the agency’s accounts leave with the agency. Expose it: “If I cancel, what do I keep?” Correct answer: everything. (Related trap: who owns your website.)
The five-question phone screen
| Ask | Good answer | Burn signal |
|---|---|---|
| Which local clients rank, for what? | Names + terms you can search now | Anonymised “case studies” |
| What exactly happens each month? | Named deliverables | “Optimisation” fog |
| When will I see results? | Honest months (timeline) | “Within weeks” |
| How do you report? | Leads + named terms (the metrics) | Impressions graphs |
| What do I keep if I leave? | Everything, monthly notice | Contract shuffle |
Run the screen on us first if you like. Book a discovery call and ask all five, we built this article knowing it doubles as our own job interview.